My First "Sick Day"

After nearly two years and two months at my current job, today is my first official Sick Day. I probably could've gone to work this morning (actually, I did, to pick up my laptop) but there was no way I could spend the entire day there with my runny nose, congested sinuses, and overall achy body. I think this is my body's way of telling me to slow the F down.

So what's been going on with me lately? Lately it's been difficult for me to articulate exactly what's going on in my life - I've been overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted. I can't seem to put my thoughts into words out loud, but maybe I'll have better luck on paper.

The first thing I've realized is that I'm not so much "stressed" as I am "stretched". Or maybe I'm both. When you put stress or strain on an object, you're putting pressure on it, and enough pressure at some point will cause the board or person, or whatever, to break. People can't break. Instead, people are stretched like a rubber band in a million different ways. A rubber band is meant to be elastic, flexible, stretchy, resilient - depending on the thickness of the band, etc. You'd have to put a lot more strain on a rubber band than a board to make it snap. So, right now I feel as though I'm being stretched in too many different directions, I'm experiencing too many emotions and I'm unable to truly deal with any of it which is a real shame.

But, I'm trying to find ways to cope. One way is through yoga, which has taught me that there are good ways to stretch the mind and body. When you've got a rubber band as stretched as it can be, you also have to be careful about how you relieve that pressure, and yoga has been awesome. I've also been reading this book called The Secret, recommended to me by Sasha, and it's been helping me to cope with all this stress, "stretch", and anxiety. The book talks about the law of attraction - that we attract to us what we think about. So, if we want that happily ever after fairy tale ending, we need to constantly visualize it. The more we put out what we want to the universe, the more likely we are to receive it. In the mean time though, we should trust the universe, and act as though we have already received it - we should fill our emotions with the happiness and joy we would feel if we were to already have what we desire most. We need to trust that it will eventually come to us, and it will.

So, cheers to positive energy, positive thinking, and positive feeling. I'm glad I have this day off to recuperate, reshuffle my thoughts, and hopefully start tomorrow on a better foot!

Onboard Tweets - Woulda, Shoulda, but Couldn't.

Why isn’t there Wi-Fi on-board Korean Air?!? Sigh. So now I'm forced to keep a mental (and now documented) list of all the clever Tweets I would’ve otherwise posted had I been allowed. Here’s to hoping I keep them under 140 characters.

- A 14-hour flight is definitely one way to keep me from stalking Justin Timberlake all over DC today…well played, Universe. Well played.
- In the past 3 years, I’ve never gone to or from anywhere without getting my period on at least ONE leg of a flight. Thanks, Mother Nature.
- Sitting next to a Korean boy working on his super fun math homework. “Mental math question: 52 x 63 = ?”. Wtf?
- Why do planes always make me smell so weird?
- Flight attendant jokingly offered me wine. Jokingly. Who is he kidding? White wine, please. Jaw can go back up now, thanks.
- A laptop without Internet is like a Boston Crème donut without the crème. Why bother?
- #lessonlearned Become bffls with your flight crew by BEING POLITE…you might just score 4 extra chocolate brownies.
- Not sure if my flight crew thinks I’m 8 or 18…let alone my real age. Oh well. Keep the wine coming please, thanks!
- Korean boy next to me is playing Pokemon. Dude, your Squirtle is not going to beat a Pikachu. Water conducts electricity! #noob
- How are there still 8 more hours left on this flight? I can only talk to myself for so long.
- That awkward moment when it’s night time where you left and morning where you’re going…when do you sleep!?
- Chasing the sun into Asia but everyone’s windows are down. I just want to feel on top of the world.
- If I had a Nike fuel band, I’d probably kill myself over embarrassment of today’s step count.
- I might just permanently switch over to Twitter now that FB is only for engagement announcements.
- Flight crews are not thanked nearly as much as they should be.
- What kind of in-flight entertainment only has ONE episode of Friends!?

Dad's Life Lessons

As some of you may know, I am currently en route to Hanoi, Vietnam to offer surge capacity to our organization’s delegation office based there…for three months. Now, a lot of preparation has obviously gone into this, but I think the most valuable words of wisdom came from my dad this morning. He offered me two stories to carry with me:

1. Don’t pay attention to the barking dogs. As you walk along the streets in India (or really any animal unregulated city these days) you see plenty of dogs, wandering aimlessly without collars or anyone looking after them. They bark at the passersby, trying to intimidate them and start a rouse. Dad reminded me that these dogs have literally nothing better to do with their lives than to torment those who are walking by and getting where they are going. Focus on your goal and where you want to be, and don’t pay the barkers any mind. They’re trying to rattle you, but it’s your choice as to whether or not you let them.

2. Don’t throw rocks at cow poop. This one’s a little weird. But again, in India, as cows are seemingly sacred in some parts, they’re allowed to do whatever the F they want, whenever they want – which includes taking dumps in broad daylight in the middle of the street. Again, as much as the smell might nauseate and distract you, keep walking. Don’t go and throw rocks at the cow poop (I don’t know why anyone would do this anyway) because the moment the rock hits the crap, it’ll cause the crap to then splash on you too. So, leave the little shits alone, hold your head up high, plug your nose if you have to, and keep chugging along.

These stories have less to do with what I’m professionally going through, and a lot more with what’s going on personally, so please don’t think my work place is full of barking dogs and cows pooping all over the place. He just wanted to stress to me that I need to focus on my goals, regardless of what everyone else is doing around me. People are going to try to bring you down in life, or distract or intimidate you, but YOU are in charge of your fate – so take control.

Fatal Flaw of Online Dating

Online dating is worse than Netflix.

Actually, it’s pretty much the worst thing ever. I have no regrets about trying it for the many months that I did (especially for all the stories that have now accumulated) but it is probably the most soul-sucking, exhausting, and eventually disappointing experience I have had in a while…since probably when I didn’t win the Math Challenge 24 game in 3rd grade. (Ugh, darn you Tim McCormick for knocking me out on a TECHNICALITY!)

I digress.

The great thing about online dating is that you eventually come to terms with what you want in a relationship, and what you don’t. The worst thing is that you eventually come to terms with what you want in a relationship, and what you don’t…and you realize that it simply doesn’t exist.

My dream is to be able to smush up all of my favorite traits and talents in the guys I’ve met and create one amazing Super Man – without any of the flaws that inevitably come out. My Super Man would be the one who could sing me to sleep while strumming along on his guitar. He would be the one that always picks me up and drops me off in his spotlessly clean car that he paid for himself, refusing to let me take the Metro, not because I can’t handle it, but because he knows this way I’ll be safe. On that note, he genuinely cares about my health and safety, and is a true gentleman when it comes to walking on the outside of the sidewalk, letting the lady go first, holding doors open, etc. He would be the one who has a life plan and is successfully working towards it. He would take me to get my favorite gelato or cupcake and NOT remind me how many calories it has. He would be the one who can keep me at Vapiano’s until midnight, talking about anything and everything under the sun, both of us not even noticing where the time went until the restaurant emptied and a waiter came over to remind us. He could be a Ravens fan, and if not, at least respectful of my team, as I would be of his. He would be the one who could make me smile or laugh through a simple text with a relevant quote from The Office or Mean Girls. He wouldn’t mind watching Pitch Perfect again, even if it’s his 10th time, just because he knows it’s my favorite movie. He would know how to make a plan and stick to it, none of this “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” nonsense. If I’m sick or not feeling well, he’d find a way to make it better. He’s witty and smart and clever and confident, but strong and purposeful with his words and actions – like Batman. He wouldn’t get intimidated if I told him I could kick his ass at any sport – he’d go along with it and let me have my fun, both of us full well knowing that’s next to nearly impossible. He doesn’t lie about his height. He takes care of his health, goes to the gym, and doesn’t mind showering at least once a day. He’s independent and doesn’t need me to complete him, but rather complement him. And the most important thing of all, he’s SUPPORTIVE of my career, aspirations, and ambitions and is not a belittling douchelord. He realizes that I may not have my life completely together (who does?) yet he knows that I could totally single-handedly rule the world if I wanted to…but I would just rather choose to rule it with him.

To tell you the truth, the majority of these traits and talents had an owner (several, to be honest). But the one who carried most was fantastic. Yet, sadly he moved away and although that ended awkwardly and terribly sadly, the good thing is that I know these qualities exist in men – they’re real. Maybe not all of them in one person, but there’s hope in life. I just need to be patient. Online dating was a fun way to get a feel for what all is out there. Unfortunately, this isn’t a gelato shop – we can’t pick and choose our flavors and what toppings we want and in what size and when we want them. Instead though, we can learn to accept new flavors and toppings and sizes and combinations. I’m taking a break from the online dating scene while in Vietnam over the next three months, and perhaps when I come back things will be different. And with that knowledge in mind, I persevere onwards, knowing Mr. Right may not be right around the corner, but he’s out there…in the meantime, starting a new chapter in Vietnam!

Get those reps in!

Tonight's edition of Harleen's Dating Life features a crucial life lesson I've learned through my fitness regimens lately: don't skimp out on your reps!

At least once a week (twice if I'm feeling particularly optimistic), I participate in a "circuit training" with Alex, my friend and colleague, which goes something like this:

5 minute walking warm-up; (18 rows, 18 squats, 18 triceps dips, 18 reverse curtsy lunges on each side) x 3 sets; 8 minute walk/run/jog; (18 bicep curls with lunges on each side) x 3 sets; 8 minute walk/run/jog; (15 forward lunges on each side, 25 reverse crunches; 25 mountain climbers) x 3 sets; 5 minute cool-down.

Now, you might think all of that is a bit insane, but I'll tell you something - it sure as hell teaches you patience and perseverance. When you're at 13 reps of your final set and you know you need to pack 5 more squats in, you maintain your focus and get them done, knowing that you can't quit because you have a number to reach. When you're at 6 minutes and 45 seconds of running, you remember that the next 75 seconds of your life will go by just as fast as the 75 seconds before that - you just need to get through them.

And here's how this translates into real life:

When you're on a date in your apartment (note: never under any circumstances, invite a guy to your place until after at least the 4th date, and even then - be wary), and you're watching the stupidest movie known to mankind (Space Balls), just remember, that every minute of that dreadful movie that ticks on by, is going to move just as fast as the minute before that, and the minute before that. There's no point in slamming your head up against the wall to avoid dealing with the uncomfortable cuddling-but-not-cuddling on the couch. It's like you're back on the treadmill again. Counting down the seconds isn't going to help you, but knowing you can get to the finish line, that will. You can't keep counting down the minutes on the Netflix - you've just gotta get through them! The date will be over before you know it. Push through, persevere, maintain your patience...and then never call/text him back. And, to vent out your frustrations for being such a moronette and allowing this sleazeball to get a second date with you, hit the gym. You'll feel a lot better.

Also, another side note - if a guy defines his height as "5'7 and 3/4''"...but claims to be 5'8''. No. Just, no. Walk away. And then run.

The Worst Date(s) Ever

As you may have noticed by now, I uploaded 5 posts I wrote last year during quite possibly the worst (yet most entertaining) week of my life. I've always wanted to publish my story (and by "story", I mean completely non-fictional account), and figured it would serve as a nice reminder that no matter how bad a date gets, it can't possibly get as bad as that week in Geneva. If you'd like to read the horror story/comedy show, scroll down to April 2013 and check it out. The posts are from a series of emails sent to close friends, hence the second person audience addressed. Enjoy!

The best way to get promoted? Suck at your job.

Over the past several months, through my work life and otherwise, I've come to a very clear realization: If you don't want to be doing something anymore, go ahead and suck at it.

A few things will happen when you showcase your abysmal performance:

1. No one will ask you for help/to do that thing anymore. For example, if you absolutely do not want to be calling the travel agent to book time-sensitive flights for your colleagues, make sure to leisurely get to know your travel agent's 14 grandchildren's names and hobbies on the phone, allow ample time to spell-uncheck to ensure any important documentation has a few critical mistakes, and hey, if you forget to do the task all together, you're pretty much guaranteed to not be stuck doing it again. A repeated pattern of offense is also crucial - first time offenders are usually forgiven, but after the second time, you're on your way to BS Task Freedom.

2. People will realize that you're just not suited for such a role, and instead, they will try to find a "better fit" for you. For example, if you refuse to get along with the members of your team, this may involve switching over to a different unit, so you become someone else's problem/joy. If you're just so terrible, but great to get along with (to our faces, at least), you will find yourself moving up the chain to management. There's nothing like managing people to do work that you, yourself, suck at doing.

(Note: If you work for a real corporation that promotes and awards based on a true meritocracy and respect for your work, I highly advise you to not oblige by the aforementioned advice. You're in a league of your own.)

Extreme Cheapskates

On a Saturday afternoon with no date lined up, I clearly have nothing better to do than watch some TLC programming. After watching Extreme Couponing (a show I can only aspire to be on), another show came on immediately after, entitled "Extreme Cheapskates". On a date earlier this week, my new friend (Jewish Italian guy from Queens) and I (Punjabi Indian girl from suburban northern Virginia) talked about the great lengths our parents would go to in order to save money for the future and their kids. The two of us come from two of the most successful demographics in this country (according to him, at least), and we are very proud of how our parents were able to rise from nothing and become who they are today.

This show takes that "rise to riches" idea in a completely different way though, and never in a million years could I imagine either of our sets of parents participating in some of these ridiculous activities. Yet, there's something to learn from everything. Lessons learned from today's episode:

• Why pay for what you can't consume? At a grocery store, before paying for your fruits by the ounce, feel free to take off the parts you can't eat, e.g. cherry or grape stems. You can't eat the stems, so you shouldn't have to pay for them.
• Dental hygiene is incredibly important. Dentists wants you to floss, so it's only their duty to provide you with enough floss to last you a lifetime. If you think that little white packet of floss can't last more than a few months, you'd be surprised at how long it'll last when you rinse off used pieces and hang them on your clothesline until next time.
• Craving ice cream? Rather than spend $2-3 actually buying a cup or cone of the good stuff, just ask for samples. 31 flavors and $0 later, you've got a full stomach without compromising a cent in your wallet. No need to feel guilty when you walk out - they want you to sample the flavors.
• Date night? No problem. Use vouchers for the movie tickets, and after your date is settled into her seat, sneak out to pilfer through the trash, find empty soda and popcorn containers, then demand your "free refills" from the poor high school kid at the counter.
• And finally, if she wants to go somewhere "expensive"? Take her to a gas station.

I can't even tell you how many times I had to stop typing so I could gawk at my TV with a face comparable to that of when someone farts. If anyone tried any of this on a date with me, I can tell you right now, I would be running out that door faster than a cheapskate running to get free samples at Costco.

I understand that people can go to great lengths to save money...or they can spend that same time and effort to make money. They say money can't solve all of your problems, but money can at least solve your money problem and keep you off of embarrassing TV shows that will ridicule you across America. 

Options, people. It's all about your options.

What's in a name?

"So what's with the name of your blog?"

Well, I'm glad you asked, Hypothetical Reader.

Let's start with "Leen Forward". In addition to getting excited about a whole new year of unrequited resolutions, this is the year in which I hope to make some very promising changes with my life (said everyone, ever). I have to admit, as thrilling and mind-blowing as 2013 was for me, it was also kind of stagnant. I may have traveled a bit around the world, but I also very much stayed in the same place. Here's to hoping 2014 is different. Here's to hoping in 2014, I make my mark, I speak my mind, I take risks and make mistakes, and I don't back down. That's the most important part. 

You learn quickly in kickboxing, while holding a punching bag for your partner, that if you don't lean forward to absorb a punch or kick, you will shake, you will stagger, and you may even get knocked over. But, by leaning forward, you empower your body, you withstand the blow, and you live to fight another day. You plant your feet in the ground, you tense your muscles, and you don't back down. Not only in my weekly kickboxing classes, but in every day, I hope to find that same balance, stability, and power.

While finding your footing, you also have to make sure you're taking care of yourself, and sometimes that includes saying no to other people. I am absolutely horrendous at that. I'm one of those people who can be juggling 10 things at once, and someone will throw another flaming torch in, and I'll be sweating like crazy, but still manage to keep the fire in the air for everyone else's amusement and joy. If that's not the definition of unhealthy, I don't know what is. I recently read an article on Huffington Post (Hello 2014: 21 Ways to Live a Resilience Life) featuring a quote I need to use more of: "That doesn't work for me". It's not a "no" per se, but it's a start. It's a way to set boundaries, to know your limits and project them on to others, and to maintain your firm footing and center of gravity. In short, it's a way of earning respect and not letting people walk all over you. I have to admit, I haven't tried uttering those five words yet, but I'm excited to give them a test run.

Finally, before you think I can't spell, one of my (many) nicknames is "Leen", hence the play on letters in the name.

Word of advice - kick boxing class is a much more efficient use of time than jail.

Introduction

Some say the best ideas come from happy hours; I say they come from coffee shops - which is precisely where the idea for this blog began (thank you, Tianna). Let's be frank. If it was a real happy hour, neither you nor I would remember any of our ideas.

So why this blog? I already have 3 others that I've invested time in before giving up on, so clearly I don't understand the word "commitment". I do love writing, however, but my day-to-day unfortunately doesn't allow for a lot of creativity, at least outside of whatever wit I can insert into email replies. I've realized I need to capture my learnings - from the drama I observe in a highly-emotional work team, to my forays into online dating, or just my general musings/epiphanies/rants. That crystallized intelligence has to go somewhere, and it might as well come with a "share" button.

I've decided this blog isn't going to be about anything in particular, because you really can't compartmentalize your life. In addition to my aforementioned statement of purpose, you can expect to read about my travels abroad, the delectable restaurants and hot spots I have the fortune to enter, pet peeves and ways to deal, my concrete belief in the power of positive energy/motivational quotes/all things warm and fuzzy, dating how-to's and probably some of the worst date stories you will ever read, and general advice I would like to give to the world. If any of that tickles your fancy, I invite you to read on - immerse, indulge, and inoculate yourself.